I had a few of my junior fighters compete recently and for some of them it was their first fight. All had trained really hard and looked great in the gym, but when it came to the fight it just didn’t go their way.
In any sport you’re going to have some ups and downs but it’s how you assess the downs that can make or break a fighter.
Don’t look at losing as failing, look at it merely as a learning tool which will help you to improve as you continue on the journey you’ve decided to take.
There was a quote from Mikey Ward on a boxing documentary I recently watched called Champs. What he said really hit home and I thought it was very fitting for what some of my juniors fighters might be experiencing right now. He said “When you win, you win with everyone but when you lose, you lose alone”. You can only really understand this quote if you have lost, it’s very easy for people to enjoy and share a joyous moment but not so easy for a negative one. The emotions that are put in to every fight are immense, no one really understands the anxieties you’ve experienced in the build up to the fight or the hours and sacrifices you’ve put in to training in a bid to claim victory. The only people who could possibly understand are those who have been there and done it and even then after they’ve gone home and closed the door they’ll have forgotten and continued with their day to day lives.
Keep in mind a situation like this, as heart breaking as it is, can easily be turned in to one of the best learning curves any fighter can have.
Generally what happens after a loss is you focus on all the bad stuff, I got hit with this, I couldn’t do that, they were stronger, they were fitter, I didn’t wear my lucky pants etc etc.
Now, these issue have to be addressed otherwise you’ll continue to make the same mistakes but not in the ‘beating yourself up’ manner that you’re probably doing. Try and look at it from a different angle, if you kept getting caught with something look at how, why and fix it. If you were unable to implement a certain technique, look at why and fix it. Your trainer will be able to look at these issues and help you to correct them, remember you maybe in the ring alone but you are on the journey together. Oh, and lucky pants, forget them they won’t make a difference.
One last thing to mention as I wrap up this blog post is that it’s just as important to look at the good points as well as the bad. As a species we have a habit of fixating on the negative. How many of you were having a nice day until one person did something that really annoyed you and then all you could do was think about it? You’d probably forgot the laugh you had with your mates or the compliment you’d had off your boss or even the smile your child gave you when you came home from work.
This type of thinking is very common after a loss and can have a negative effect on you as a person. It’s very easy to take these feelings and thoughts back in to the ring with you if it’s not corrected. If you’ve recently lost or put a performance on that you weren’t happy with I want you to look at your fight through fresh eyes. You’ve probably already seen what may need working on but this time I want you to acknowledge the good that you did no matter how small it may seem.
So this evening, take five minutes to sit back and think about all the positive things that have happened to you today, be it school, work, home or training. I want you to think about that great combination you let off in sparring, those grades you got from school or how you felt after giving someone a helping hand at work and really appreciate what you did.
Remember where you start in the race isn’t important it’s where you finish that counts.